Welcome to A Fly on the Wall! This piece is all about the random daily exchanges within the Mulligan household, as if observed by a fly on the wall. Check back here regularly as the list continues to grow. I hope you enjoy these as much as I do, cheers!
Mommy to Jameson: (about his new baby sister) “Don’t step on her head please!”
Jameson to Daddy: (pointing to his new toddler bed) “It’s my crib” Daddy: “It’s a big-boy bed!” Jameson: “It’s a big crib”
Daddy to Mommy: “Don’t you ever find it weird that your body secretes a warm children’s beverage?”
Mommy to Daddy: “Wow, the Flintstones really were historically inaccurate” Daddy: “I know, they didn’t have television”
Mommy to Jameson: “What are you doing with your butt?”
Daddy to Mommy: (showing me the new eco-friendly toilet paper he bought) “Seems pretty durable” Mommy: “If durability is what you look for in a toilet paper, you’re wiping too hard”
Daddy to Mommy: “If there’s anything I know, it’s that kids love touching ceilings.”
Daddy to Mommy: “It’s weird how I don’t even think the fire department coming to our house anymore is something out of the ordinary”
Mommy to Daddy: “Do you wanna order dinner or something?” Daddy: “I could go for a good burger.” Mommy: “Whatever we decide, it has to be something Jameson will eat. ” Daddy: “So, Macaroni and Cheese Palace?”
Daddy to Mommy: (about the kids following him from room to room) “Ugh, it’s like the Walking Dead around here, one of them is always slowly lurking behind.”
Daddy to Mommy: “I can’t help but feel like Tom Brokaw when I say “Ferrero Rocher”.
Daddy to Mommy: “This morning when I defrosted Jameson’s waffles, he remembered what buttons to push on the microwave.” Mommy: “Wait, why were you defrosting his waffles?” Daddy: “I thought you were supposed to. I didn’t want to get water in the toaster.” Mommy: “They’re called toaster waffles!”
Mommy to Jameson: “Honey, I hate that you’re so scared of spiderwebs. There’s nothing to be afraid of, they’re just sticky.” Daddy: “There’s a reason there are a symbol of Halloween.”
Related to A Fly On The Wall:
“Shit My Dad Says“
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